Per Anum

This is the second year anniversary of my business, more or less. With that comes some satisfaction, but also a mountain of work and a mountain range of annual renewal fees. Among these have been licensing fees, software subscriptions, and… well, stuff. A big check from one client almost got swallowed, and another will vanish just as fast. Fortunately, it appears more work (and income) is just around the corner. Still, it’s stress I’d rather not face.

Coupled with this, I’ll be alone with my son for nearly a week amongst all this angst, so I’ll need to attempt to maintain a stress free façade if not actual absence of stress. Should be fun.

The Task of Staying on Task

I worked the past weeked pretty hard. As a result I’m burned out this week. There’s plenty of work to be done, but I’m just not mentally eager to engage in it.

It’s not like there isn’t pressure and  a variety of interesting and challenging tasks. I’ve got some bits of marketing to do, some standard performance specifications to write, some drafting that’s not too daunting that must be done, two jobs that I could finish this week and invoice that would improve my bottom line. There’s lots to do and a clear connection with time spent and money paid – not a fortune but plenty motivation all the same. Still, I can’t seem to care. I’m just not “there” today – or yesterday, for that matter.

Part of the issue is that I’ve got sex on the mind, and I’ve got long-term plans in the works for getting some marathon sex accomplished late this year. for me, a lot of the joy of intercourse is not taking a break except for sleep, exhaustion, or refreshment. To make that the norm, a guy’s gotta do a lot of prep work and get a lot off his task list well ahead of the event. Work must be managed to allow vacation time, capital has to be set aside for several days without income and with expenses, care of dependents must be assigned elsewhere, travel plans, clothes (not a big task, there), personal excuses invented (nobody wants to hear that you’re busy screwing for a next week), … the list goes on.

Anyway, I suppose it’s not sex on the mind, it’s thinking ahead to what I want to do later distracting from things I ought to do now. So, I suppose I need to get back to the present and address the present challenges so I can proceed to future rewards: delay my gratification, as it were. And now I suppose I ought to stop delaying getting back to work…