My Favorite Joke

Today my wife shared with me, “I went to happy hour after work today, and when I arrived, one of the women was say how gorgeous you are.”

“Really!” I said. “What’s her number.”

Obviously frustrated at my response, my wife replied, “She’s got a boyfriend.”

“Oh! She’s not married?”

“She’s divorced, and she has two kids.”

“Well, I suppose that would exclude her from consideration.”

My wife innocently added, “…and she’s the one with a 19-year-old daughter who’s been sleeping around.”

“What’s her number?”

Sky Augusta didn’t like my attitude when he suggested we should call the Cathedral after what may be western civilizations greatest achievement: cathedrals. I responded that his attached image of Thorncrown Chapel in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, provided a shit example of a Cathedral.

Well, here’s my attempt at un-crunchy, for what it’s worth.

Three men are fishing. Two of the men, an artist and a (protestant) priest, are arguing the merits of married bliss versus unmarried cohabitation. The artist argues emotionally for the advantages of a muse to inspire without the shackles of marriage, while the priest argues eloquently for the loyalty and love of a lifelong committed spouse. After almost an hour of discussion, they turn to the third man in the boat, an engineer, and ask him to settle the dispute.

The engineer pauses for a moment and replies, “A man needs both a wife and a mistress. While you’re away from your wife, she assumes you’re with your mistress, and while you’re with your mistress, she assumes you with you’re wife. Meanwhile, you can go to your office and accomplish something worthwhile.”

Somewhere along the long climb out of barbarism, we began to contemplate the opinions of women as relevant to the decisions of men. I recall reading a bit of Tacitus’ Annals where he relates a moment when the Senate, attempting to please Tiberius, suggests a woman related somehow to Augustus (I forget he details) ought be substantially honored. Tiberius objects strongly, saying (paraphrased), “It is unseemly to elevate a woman so high.”

I have a soft spot for manga and anime, perhaps because both these mediums still contain significant fortresses to masculine ideals – however debauched – regarding the responsibilities of men and the expectations for feminine behavior and morals. to be blunt, my favorites are the characters who generally disregard women, seek personal goals, and yet may obtain the favor of women with minimum effort. I suppose that’s a fantasy, but for an admittedly mediocre man like myself, I can appreciate the underlying truth within the narrative: women want men who are self-assured and disregard the opinions of women.

All this has a point – I’m not merely rambling for the sake of it.

One of the few things the proposed Phalanx has correct – though not much else – is the notion that men must begin to develop strong communities independent of the oversight or objections of women. Imagine for a moment a character out of Sons of Anarchy submitting to the badgering of his wife – even if she’s correct about the best course of action. Can’t see it? Neither can I. Ultimately, that was a major lesson from Roissy/Heartiste: apply I don’t make decisions based upon your recommendations to my marriage. Neoreaction didn’t have that knowledge to share, but the Dark Enlightenment did.

After a long hiatus from reader any portion of the Bible, you know who brought me back. No, not my wife. it was GBFM. Long, crazy, LOLLLZZZZ quotes, some completely out of context, most clear as the sky on a cloudless day. And what does the bible say about women? Watch your back: the thieving tramps will take you for everything your worth, especially if they love you.

What I’m saying here, gentlemen, is that no matter how cogent the woman seems (and Disenchanted Scholar seems to have all her wits), ultimately, civilization depends upon men who will disregard the hopes of women and look out for the personal and tribe interests foremost. For some of you, that’s going to be a hard road to tread.

One brief postscript: if any male among you longs for the erotic touch of other men, that’s not a sign of masculinity, but femininity. I advise you treat such men as women. Both will seek to please and manipulate you to win your favor. Dumb ideas like elevating women to positions of honor come from such men.

In other words, yes, you really must discriminate against the women and gays, and for the same reason.

Also: let no woman occupy a place of honor. Your steadfast resolve builds character.

I suppose that’s still pretty “crunchy.”

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One response to “My Favorite Joke

  1. Ha! All the great things I have to say on Twitter and that one gets quoted. Despite that, I’d say the world could use an extra dose of crunchiness now and again.

    Excellent post.

Don't bother.

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