Where to find a good incel guy to date?

A Message from the Patriarchy: Where to Find Involuntarily Celibate (Incel) Guys

Emma the Emo posted a commenter’s question. It deserves an answer.

So, you a slut, you’ve rode the cock carousel till your crotch is sore, and you’re ready to get the fuck off the racing stallions and onto a workhorse. Where do you find a workhorse? Hint: it’s in the name.

Before we begin, know that there are two types of incel guys: loons and laborers.

You can generally spot the loons by certain characteristics. Among these are 1) horrifying hygiene, 2) dirty living spaces, 3) few friends.

Sadly, you cannot judge looniness by the usual feminist guidelines: anti-social behavior, physical condition, politically correct ethos. Such things usually portent a crazy person, contrary to Cathedral-approved opinion. Do not trust an apparently incel guy with good physical condition who says the right things and appears socially gregarious. He is either certifiably crazy or a pick-up artist and probably a recovering incel, but not what you’re seeking, all the same.

So, with some broad no-go criteria established, here’s a brief list of where you find incels.

– RPG gaming convention or gaming store
– book stores
– Japanese anime conventions
– Video game stores or the video game section of local big box retailer
– A surprising number of incels hunt and fish and collect firearms; consider a sporting goods store that sells firearms.
– Fast food and grocery stores – these guys gotta eat and nobody cooks for them

So, how do you pick-up an incel?

First, be interested in the guy. It helps tremendously if you’re not faking your interest. Next, laugh, especially if he tells a joke. Giggling is always good. Also, touch him. Get him to touch you. Follow him around like a puppy – don’t lead him. Guys who are still open to female companionship will welcome the attention and eventually become accustomed to your presence.

If you get rejected, move on. Disinterest in a man can’t be combatted. Similarly, bail on the guy if you lose interest, the sooner the better. Bailing early is a kindness.

3 responses to “Where to find a good incel guy to date?

  1. Thanks for the thoughtful answer. I noticed men were suspicious of a woman who’d want to find an incel. I think I can see why. But still, thanks.
    One thing in your response wade me curious though. You say that if he’s dirty, has a dirty living area, and has few friends, he’s a loon. But if he’s social, fit and PC, he could also be a loon. Do these overlap, or are they different types?

    • Emma, there is no overlap; these are two very different men.

      My brother is in the first category. My mom and daughter recently visited him. When I asked how much of a pig sty he’s presently maintaining, she responded, “It’s bad, but if he’d just pick up all the wrappers and drinks and leftover food, it’d be alright.” This is also a guy who walked into a kitchen where my wife and I were cooking with a handgun held upside-down and pointed at us. Sure, his finger’s off the trigger, but he’s got a gun pointed at me. Seriously uncool. I could go on, but he’s my brother.

      The other type is the character Patrick Bateman from the novel American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. Many men appear totally sane if you examine their public lives. to get past that veneer, you must be aware that most of what they do is for appearances and that they don’t have a realistic view of people. Another good example is Elliot Rodger.

      Sure, most incel guys are honorable and responsible men, but women have got to have an eye for the crazies, or they’ll end up chopped-up in a basement somewhere.

    • Disinterest in a man can’t be combated.

      Well, it can and it can’t. I was an incel who had no interest in this one chick who stalked me, but my friends and my mother were all convinced I should go out with her, so I did. In the very beginning, I was super excited to have access to a vagina, but the shiny wore off that penny pretty quickly.

      I got her pregnant just when I was getting pretty serious about dumping her. The second kid was definitely her intentional design (she stopped taking the pill, and told all her gal pals, but didn’t tell me, and still hasn’t admitted the truth). The first kid was probably her intentional design too.

      I’m still with her 24 years later. I guess disinterest can be combated when you have the power of the state behind you, and you’re dealing with an incel. If I leave her, where am I going to go anyway? All my friends are divorced multiple times paying assorted payments out the ass, and the grass doesn’t look greener on that side of the fence at all.

      I’ve been trying to cheat on her for two years now, and I haven’t achieved much for a monumental expenditure of effort. I’ve made a lot of noise about how cool it is that I don’t have to hide things from my wife, but the reality is that having a wife who is trying to outsource the job of arousing me and keeping me company is a pretty damn empty life. As long as she has my money and gets dick every Sunday night, she doesn’t give a shit.

      So anyway, I guess the message here is that you can probably force an incel to stay with you if you put your back into it and don’t mind bearing a couple of children, but I’m not actually encouraging you to do this to anyone. Be kind, and take a hint! It’s better to be an incel than a man slave who provides dollars and penis on command.

      I’m also saying that if you find an incel who is actually into you, he could turn out to be a great guy. A guy who couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse with a fist full of $100 bills isn’t going to cheat on you, and pretty much every single one of my friends is cut of similar cloth. We’re born, bred, and raised to be providers. It’s just what we do.

      Enduring my situation for as long as I have has definitely brought out my loon tendencies though. I’m afraid the laborer/loon divide isn’t such a crisp, clean line. I’m half Mr. Rogers, and half Elliot Rodger.

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