Grocery Stores and Small Towns

The city where I live isn’t really that small. I shouldn’t have to meet old lovers at the grocery. Yet I do. The conversation has been cordial; she’s married now… but her husband isn’t around much because he works construction and moves around. I know they spend time together and I assume their relationship is good, but her smile is too welcoming and genuinely pleasant considering how I treated her and how we left things. Either he’s an ass or she’s not so sure about pulling up stakes and moving twenty years after coming to town. I don’t do married women – it’s not worth the risk of bodily harm – but I’m wondering if I should tease out some info if I see her at the grocery again, then plan accordingly. Hmm…

2 responses to “Grocery Stores and Small Towns

  1. Pingback: Saturday Link Encyclopedia and Self-Promotion « Clarissa's Blog

  2. Clarissa,

    Thank you for your comment and Pingback.

    Regarding your comment: she called out my name both of the two times we’ve met at the grocery. The first time, we spoke briefly. The second time, I was preoccupied, and didn’t respond with appropriate kindness; I was terse. I probably wouldn’t have noticed her either time had she not called my name or come face-to-face with me. I tend to focus entirely on the task at hand when I’m shopping. That’s part of why it troubled me a little, and why I wrote it down in my blog either 1) for future reference in case something develops, or 2) for a reality-check in case nothing comes from it. As you say, in part, she may only be polite and friendly, and I’m not discounting that possibility.

    Like you, I also forget the names of people I’ve met; I always admit my forgetfulness and ask that person to tell me his or her name again or, if I’ve totally forgotten somebody, ask them, sometimes jarringly, “I know you. What is your name?” You might try that. Many Americans find the honesty refreshing. I recently reacquainted myself with the mother of one of my son’s classmates by this method. She hadn’t recognized me at all. My ego’s not so fragile I can’t admit that in a blog I write under a psuedonym.

    But those clarifications aren’t why I’m writing out a response to you.

    The viciousness of your comment causes me concern for you. Are you okay? You and I don’t agree on many things (anything?) regarding relationships between men and women. I’ve avoided the frustration that causes me by removing your blog from my subscription list and only dipping in briefly on my own initiative to scan blog titles for anything that might interest me. While it pleases me to know many people might read my blog (which isn’t well-followed) because of your pingback, the last thing I want is for you to generate stress for yourself and other like-minded persons who needn’t read my blog because my thoughts will will cause them pain or anger or frustration. Life already provides plenty of such things without us seeking them. The sewer line I must soon replace is a good example. If you think of my blog as you might consider a broken sewer line, you needn’t trouble yourself reading it, and certainly needn’t pain others with its contents.

    That said, your comments are welcome, whatever their content. If you write something so foul that even I’m offended, I can always delete it. If you ever feel the need to vent without a filter and name me with properly nasty epithets, don’t hesitate to email me. I assure you that I can take it.

    I hope you are happy, that your students delight you, and that all your relationships with friends and family are as pleasant as your most satisfying dreams. Rest assured I read your blog occasionally, but will continue to refrain from commenting. Be well.

Don't bother.

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