Psalm 144, A Tyrants Prayer

Psalm 144, Translated to Modern Idiom

1. Adorable be YHWH, who provides me strength

Which teaches me to slaughter men in great numbers

And to brawl with grasping hands

2. My justification, and my defense,

My arrogance, and my blamelessness,

My concealment, and that which I hope will pay me later.

Who enslaves others human beings to me

3. YHWH, what is humanity, that you give a damn?

Or the progeny of men, that you keep track of their actions?

4. Man is selfish:

His life is short.

5. Come here from the supernatural world, YHWH,

Touch this world, and it will burn.

6. Throw energy at this world, and break it apart:

Shoot your weapons, and destroy our world.

7. Send your influence from your abode;

Save me from my confusing surroundings,

From the subjection of people who are not your cultists,

8. Who say you are not real,

Who tell me that what I believe to be wisdom is a lie.

9. I will praise you in a new way, my deity:

On a stage and with big and loud musical instruments,

I will praise you with my voice and music.

10. It is my deity that saves despots from overthrow:

Who delivered me, my deity’s cultist, from a violent death.

11. Save me from people who do not worship you.

Who say you are not real,

Who teach wisdom that I hope is not true:

12. So that my sons may grow tall,

That my daughters may be reliable,

Genteel and beautiful like my many palaces.

13. That my bank account may be huge,

That I can afford anything I want;

That my investments may earn 100 percent returns,

No… 1000 percent returns, and my stuff will spill into the streets.

14. That my cars, trucks, tractors, and such will work reliably,

That people won’t disturb my nation or escape it;

That there will be no mass protests.

15. Happy are my subjects, that is true:

Yes, happy are my subjects, who share my delusions.

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